Category Archives: Oops

So Let’s Talk Embarrassing

Ya wanna talk embarrassing? I’ll tell ya embarrassing. It’s your Captain hauling your arse over a fence in the middle of a battle.

It was a tall fence. It was a really tall fence.

Honestly, it was a combination of a lot of things, most of which were my short legs and the gaiter tops. I really, truly despise those contraptions. Some other time I’ll expound on the topic of gaiter tops. On paper, they sound like a great idea. Ours is an early-war impression and we can document that the 35th had them. The trouble is, they’re death traps for short people (which was not a problem for actual grenadiers. Those entitled giants.) They lay flat against the knee when the legs are straight, but stick out when the knee is bent. So, per se, if you’re marching through tall grass, your gaiter tops are om nomming the vegetation all the way.

And getting stuck in the slats of the fence you’re trying to climb.
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Pale People Problems

I’m pale.

(HOW PALE ARE YOU?)

I’m so pale, one time my friend thought I was naked because I was the same colour as my shirt.

No, seriously. I’m incredibly white. Women I don’t even know come up to me at events and ask me how I achieve my amazing period look (Answer: Don’t go outside. And be Irish). And while it’s period-correct for both 18th and 19th century, it’s a bitch and a half in the real world. As soon as it’s Spring, sunscreen is my best friend. Anything below 50 SPF can get off my lawn.
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I Love a Bayonet Charge, but…

I think I picked the wrong turn of phrase when I was showing my bayonet to a group at a local July 4 event this afternoon and described it as, “18 inches of fun”.

i heard it as soon as i said it